I know I messed up.

Listening to: Tegan and Sara - More for Me

I don't know what to do anymore. All anyone in this house wants to talk about is how I've messed up big time. I have realized that; you don't need to keep telling me incessantly. I mean, I get it, God, why can't anyone get over it? What am I supposed to say anymore? I still see him every single day but he acts like he has never met me before. It seems weird how we can go from being so incredibly close to acting like we have no idea who each other is. I know that we have to do that for specific reasons, but it still hurts. And I feel completely horrible for how I treated him when he didn't know about it yet. I know it wasn't just his fault, but he was the one who got kicked out of school. Yet, he still has his friends and mine seem to be diminishing and crawling towards him. I'm making too big of a deal out of this. I didn't seem to care much about the consequences at present, but more to the long-term ones. Wow, I'm strange. I mean, I didn't really care if they kicked me out of school for how stupidly I acted. I wouldn't have really cared. But I cared about how it would affect my journalism career, because I'm not a normal person.